Asa Trenchard Wal, stranger, I don't know what they're going to do with me, but wherever they do put me, I hope it will be out of the reach of a jackass. I'm a real hoss, I am, and I get kinder riley with those critters.

Lord Dundreary Now he thinks he's a horse. I've heard of a great jackass, and I dreampt of a jackass, but I don't believe there is any such insect.

Florence Trenchard Well, cousin, I hope you made yourself comfortable.

Asa Well, no, I can't say as I did. You see there was so many all-fired fixins in my room I couldn't find anything I wanted.

Florence What was it you couldn't find in your room?

Asa There as no soft soap.

Captain De Boots Soft soap!

Augusta Soft soap!

Harry Vernon Soft soap!

Mrs Mountchessington Soft soap!

Florence Soft soap!

Georgina [On sofa.] Soft soap!

Lord Dundreary Thoft thoap?

Asa Yes, soft soap. I reckon you know what that is. However, I struck a pump in the kitchen, slicked my hair down a little, gave my boots a lick of grease, and now I feel quite handsome; but I'm everlastingly dry.

Florence You'll find ale, wine and luncheon on the side-table.

Asa Wal, I don't know as I've got any appetite. You see comin' along on the cars I worried down half a dozen ham sandwiches, eight or ten boiled eggs, two or three pumpkin pies and a string of cold sausages—and—Wal, I guess I can hold on till dinner-time.